The Reader For Leaders Seminars, articles, and musings by Paul D. Casey

“Asked of Socrates: ‘How can I reach Mt. Olympus?’..Socrates replied, ‘Just make every step you take go in that direction.’  A noble sense of direction always opens the door for noble events and words along the way.” (When Men Think Private Thoughts)

When I’m coaching someone and they are telling me about one of their decisions, I like to ask them, “Does that action get you closer to your goal or further away from your goal?” Sometimes, just hearing one’s self answer that question is stark enough to either continue that course of action or stop the off-course behavior.

It’s also true for beating procrastination. Just take a baby-step TODAY in the direction of completing the project/task, and it’ll be easier to pick up the next time you have time available.

And it’s true if you are hoping/praying opportunities will open up for you. If you put yourself in settings where things can happen, most likely opportunities will present themselves, key people will emerge to help you along the way, and key learnings will occur. But you have to be in the path of the outcome you are hoping for.

“The question, ‘What am I really made of?’ will most likely be asked on a day when you face a significant test (betrayed, cheated…)”

“Character describes the inner soil out of which actions and words grow. Character is formed out of a lively conscience, powerful/influential models of behavior, sound teaching, and a realization that we are accountable to God.”

“Joseph…did it all on character: an uncompromising sense of right/wrong; an impeccable honesty/dependability; a wise/discerning mind; a strong moral compass; a soul free of bitterness/vengeance; and a courage to speak/act out of truth.”  (When Men Think Private Thoughts)

Early in life I heard that sports builds character. I soon learned that sports REVEALS character, as does having a leadership position, going through difficult circumstances, getting in serious relationships, etc.  That’s when all of your observers see what’s in your heart (since “out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.”).

The key is to be constantly becoming more mature in one’s character. Sure, most people’s worldview is set by age 12, and most of the education we get on character-formation comes from our parents/teachers/coaches growing up. But we don’t have to stop the process of becoming more like Christ, more whole, more toward becoming the best version of ourselves that we can be.  The more time we spend getting to know God, the more we want to become like Him, and to give him the reins of our lives.

Joseph is one of the best all-time at living a life of character, no matter what hit him across the face. And I can’t help but think that the only way he got through it, was that his eyes were constantly on God whenever it came to a decision he had to make, or what reaction/response he would give when the crucible moment happened. He used tragedies as triggers to depend more on God, while so many use them as triggers to go dark, to complain, to blame, to go destructive with anger, etc.

“Management of life requires goals.” “Contribution begins with great goals.” I like these quotes because they show intentionality in taking life by the tail, instead of drifting in the wind of busyness. God wants us all to make a difference in His world this year, and He needs us to stop, seek His will, and listen for direction. Then, once we’ve got a direction that sticks to us, we need to orient our lives to make it happen.

Consider writing goals in 7 categories of your life for 2012:

• Physical life (exercise, sleep, nutrition, stress management)
• Primary relationships (as a spouse, employee, parent)
• Vocation (things that move your career forward)
• Use of money (getting out of debt, putting money away)
• Intellectual life (professional development, reading, thinking)
• Recreational life (playtime, hobbies, friendships)
• Spiritual disciplines (Bible-reading/meditation, memorizing, prayer)

“The life brought under management will have to get used to selecting/de-selecting, saying yes to the best and no to things good.”

In 2 Samuel 5:10, we find that King David “proceeded with a longer stride, a larger embrace since the God-of-the-Angel-Armies was with him.”

As I begin to look ahead into 2012, I want to be able to walk/behave like David did–with a longer stride–and reach out with a larger embrace of life because I know and am confident that God is with me (Emmanuel).  I tend to shrink back (a shorter stride and a hot-potato embrace) when I focus on my own problems and limit my view of an extremely-big God Who has it all under control.  That’s not what He has in mind for me; it’s practically insulting Him!

How does your behavior/words/attitude change when you get a glimpse of your great God?

Oh, to have this reputation, that David had in I Samuel 29:3: “I’ve found nothing to be suspicious of, nothing to complain about….” 29:6: “You’ve been a trusted ally–excellent in all the ways you have worked with me, beyond reproach in the ways you have conducted yourself…”  29:9: “You’re a good man–as far as I’m concerned, God’s angel.”

I pray that I (wanna join me in this prayer?) will live a life:

• Void of any evil/selfish intent
• Void of annoying/hassling behaviors
• As a loyal friend
• Pursuing excellence in all I do
• That has nothing to point a finger at
• Characterized by goodness
• Being a messenger of God

“A human being does not grow beyond a problem that has deep emotional significance for him until he comes to terms with that problem: until he understands it: accommodates it in his life arrangements; if possible, resolves it entirely…A man cannot control what he hasn’t named…Their effect is felt in the reactions/patterns of life he now follows.”  (from When Men Think Private Thoughts)

Problems come at us regularly like a wasp at a picnic.  We can swat at them and try to keep eating like nothing is wrong, or we can determine if we can continue with such a major distraction to our peace.  Very rarely do people want to address their problems; they hope those things will magically go away by ignoring them. Meanwhile, unhealthy/dysfunctional life-patterns and reactions in relationships begin to develop to cope with that avoidance. That person receives consequences for avoidance, and the people around him/her get hurt at some level. All the other people that love that person can “see” what is broken, and unless they are assertive in nature, silently hope/pray that their friend will someday “get it” and get healed from it so that their life will brighten.

So, how do we determine if we have an unresolved issue? Ask someone you deeply trust to tell you the “last 5%”, which is a nice way of saying, “Shoot straight with me: What am I doing that you see is unhealthy or that I’m blind to?”.  Pray to the Holy Spirit to reveal it to you gently so that no 2-by-4′s are needed to get your attention.  Then determine with hightened resolve, that you will wrestle the problem to the ground and do the right thing. The world will rejoice and you will have removed some barbells you’ve been carrying around, allowing you to experience more peace–and to potentially help someone else on their journey.

When I was driving to Portland a year ago in the winter, I was checking the road conditions, and it seemed like it was pretty clear overall with patches of ice in places. It was a sunny day, and I clipped along without worries for many miles.

Then, around a turn, I saw blinking lights of emergency vehicles up ahead and noticed a couple vehicles rolled over in the ditch in this one segment of freeway. The area was shaded from the sun by the hills that loomed above it, and the ice in that stretch never melted. The vehicles never saw the ice, never adjusted their speed, and unfortunately, paid the price.

Each of us has a place where we are most often tempted to go dark, a place in our heart where we allow ice to crust over, and not yield to Christ to take full control. When we go dark and not let the Son shine into that area where Satan has a foothold, we wipe out in our relationships or at work or on our personal goals.

It’s time to slow down and acknowledge we are weak in that spot, ask God for victory/forgiveness, forgive ourselves for the damage we’ve caused, and put on our spiritual armor each day to thaw the ice before it freezes over our hearts–even partially.

“What is my reaction when….I find myself losing ground? Is there denial, blame, victim talk, whining, or quitting? Or am I like a real pro who, having lost a game on Sunday, head for the practice field on Monday determined to drain every ounce of valuable experience out of the losing effort so that next Sunday is different?”  (from When Men Think Private Thoughts)

We all lose ground once in a while, and sometimes we are in an all-out slide downhill, grasping for tree roots to stop our fall. It doesn’t take the appearance of an angel to wake us up that we aren’t in a good place emotionally or spiritually or mentally. So, given that we will all be there sometime, how do I respond in those moments or seasons of my life?

Denial keeps plugging forward, hoping it’ll all just go away–and it never does.  Blame keeps the failure external, not owning my responsibility in where I find myself–and just prolongs the dark night of despair (and often ticks someone else off, too). Victim-talk makes me a martyr, saying why does it only happen to me–and keeps me in a powerlessness, paralyzing frame of thinking. Whining is annoying to everyone around me, a very unattractive quality–and it sucks the joy out of the journey by focusing on the circumstances. Quitting is giving up, acquiesing to the failure and its consequences–and not getting back on the horse to ride another day to victory.

OR…….We can pan for gold! We can look for the diamonds in the rough, the rose among the thorns…OK, you get the metaphor. Squeeze out every learning from the trip-and-fall experience, as to not get back here with face-in-mud again. AND, use it to help others who you observe on the slippery slope, being a warning flag for them not to get to where you once were (or how to pull out of a funk like you did, if they have started to go down in flames).

Was watching my son play football today, and my attention was drawn to the officials when they threw a flag and blew their whistle before a play started–delay of game or something. Must be fun to throw out the little yellowish hanky with a little weight on the end when seeing a rule violation, and to stop the play.

Do you know that we have the power to throw a flag in our relationships or personal lives? Sure! When someone we love and/or work with violates one of our boundaries, like trying to manipulate us, we can throw a flag and let them know that, Ouch!, that hurts. We’d prefer to be communicated with directly and respectfully.  If we are making a decision that is hurting our own personal wellness (one too many donuts, for instance), and we feel the Holy Spirit say, “knock it off”, we can throw an internal flag that marks that moment as a bad choice that will not happen again. We can even throw a flag when we see an injustice in the world like human trafficking or poverty, and use that play-stoppage to do something about it.

Feel the power of a football official and take charge of your life by listening to God’s voice, throwing flags, and avoiding further penalties, and you will not be challenged from the outside quite as much for an “official review.”

“Reality dances best with those who are flexible.” (from the Hands-Off Manager)

You ever heard the saying “Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape“?  I think one of the most winsome character traits of any employee, boss, friend, or family member is flexibility.  I find flexible people very easy to relate to because of the easy-going attitude that accompanies them through life’s changes and bumps. They realize that everything isn’t in stone, that it’s OK to live in the question sometimes, and that by rolling with the punches–and adapting quickly–their stress level goes down, which reduces the stress of those around them, too. Flexibility contributes to a peaceful heart. Flexibility yields the need for control. Flexibility sets a person up for loving well.

So, as any physical trainer would want from you, become more flexible by stretching out that muscle today and every day, by giving a little when a shockwave hits you, with an eye to growth, instead of forcefully repelling what God allows into your life. It’s flex time!